A belated Christmas post

One big happy family

After the pickle

Katy's the happy pickle winner

Christmas in Brasov

Rambling...

Katy told me she missed reading my ramblings and reminded me that I've not updated since Nov. 27. Yikes!  So, here's what I've been thinking about...not since November 27, but for the last couple of weeks.

We anticipated Katy and Michael coming home for Christmas from the first day we landed back in Romania. It's kind of what we've learned to do.  Anticipate the "next time."  Abigail asked me the other day if it was bad that we always have in view the next time we see each other.  It's a question we all wrestle with.  On one hand there is value in what Ed often tells the kids when they project themselves in the future: "Be where you are." And Nicholas' quote:  "Don't Anticipate. Participate."   But at the same time, when we experience such gaping holes, we long to see them filled.  So, our challenge is to find balance in both, experiencing the fullness of life where we are and longing for the fullness of what will we'll enjoy when we're all together again.  

I've been reading Keller's new book, The Prodigal God, which I highly recommend.  In it, he makes reference to CS Lewis' The Weight of Glory. I'd never read it, so I googled it and downloaded this well-known sermon.  I highly recommend this as well. It's short, several pages printed.  Anyway, he writes about reward, heaven, desires, and glory.  In his sermon, we find the familiar quote: "Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far to easily pleased."  Sad, but true.  

Even more convicting to me is what I read a little later:  "The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust them (substitute "the reunited family" for books or music);  it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing.  These things--the beauty, the memory of our own past (the kids all being home)--are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers.  For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have not visited."   

So, is it possible that my desire for a united or reunited family is just a dim picture of the real desire within my heart?  And can I rightly desire the good thing of having all the kids at home, while holding it with an open hand as my heart leans towards the ultimate desire?  

Lewis concludes by talking about what that ultimate desire really is:  glory.  He says, "The sense that in this universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret.  And surely from this point of view, the promise of gory in the sense described, becomes highly relevant to our deep desire.  For glory meant good report with God, acceptance by God, response, acknowledgement, and welcome into the heart of things.  The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last."

So, what I love most about having everyone home is that feeling of fullness, knowledge, acceptance.  It's the laughing about the shared experiences of the past, the completeness of chairs full around the table, the openness of known approval and acceptance.  It's the richness that comes when community is expanded, when Michael brings out of Abi something we only see when Michael is home. And Katy with Daniel.  It's the sense of being welcomed into a place that is safe and comfortable and open.  

Yet, what I'm realizing is that this pleasure, desire, beauty, is really just a picture, an index of my real situation. Keller says, "Our lifelong nostalgia, our longing to be reunited with something in the universe from which we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door which we have always seen from the outside, is no mere neurotic  fancy, but the truest index of our real situation.  And to be at last summoned inside would be both glory and honour beyond all our merits and also the healing of that old ache."

I know that summoning inside isn't to Strada Cetatii 85, with all four kids at home. While it was and is a great delight to me, it isn't perfect. There are aches even there, of knowing it is fleeting, of unmet expectations, of conflict and disappointments, of seeing that though there are finally 6 at home, we are 6 broken, sinful people at home.  Our knowledge and acceptance of one another is deeply flawed.

The summoning inside is to a unity, an acceptance, a knowledge that is perfect.  Our desire ultimately is "to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe into it, to become part of it."  One day, "the whole man is to drink from the fountain of joy." 

I long for that day... but until then, as Lewis says, "The cross comes before the crown and tomorrow is a Monday morning."  

So, back to the original question, "Is it wrong to long for the next time we're all together?" I think not, but if that longing replaces knowledge and pursuit of our real longing, being united with Christ and ultimately being glorified with him, our reunions will be mudpies in the slums.  On the other hand, if the pleasure we find in one another points us to a pursuit of holiness, unity, and glory, we can be participate and anticipate at the same time.  

Plus, Lewis tells us that our own longing for glory should compel us towards evangelism, "It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of  his neighbor.  The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.  It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly attempted to worship, r else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.  All day long we are in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations.  It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.  There are no ordinary people."

So, today, I'm going to meet with Alina. We'll talk about trips, relationships, work.  I'll ask her about her job at the university, hoping she can help us make progress towards establishing a university ministry there.  And this afternoon Abi will go to German folk dancing class.  We'll have Cami and Razvan over for dinner tonight and talk about baptism.  Tomorrow I'll go with Angela to see about getting matching "capes?" made for us with some wool she's had for 20 years(!?).    These will not be ordinary meetings with ordinary people.  Hopefully, in some degree, the Lord will use me to help them toward glory.

Series of Firsts: Part III

First Snowfall of the year

We took a poll a few weeks ago about when we thought the first snow would fall. I said December 8. Abigail said November 21, and everyone else was somewhere in between. Abi won!! It started snowing Saturday morning (Nov 22) and snowed all day long. The flakes were big and slow--my favorite kind. By the end of the day, we were sledding on snow up to our knees. Sadly by Tuesday it warmed up and melted at our house. Happily, it snowed again on Poiana on Wednesday, so we began our Thanksgiving celebration today on the mountain. We were just about the only people there--crazy Romanians forgot all about the Thanksgiving holiday--and it was beautiful. Hope to go again soon!

Daniel with our friends, the Becks, on the hill in our back yard.

Abi, wishing the snow was up to her hips

The backyard with a fresh blanket of snow

Series of Firsts: Part II

First Day of School

The kids started school Nov 17 (nearly 2 weeks ago--I'm a little slow) with two new teachers, who are adjusting beautifully and are doing a great job teaching our kids. Daniel is having to adjust a little, transitioning from talk about ATeam, pingpong, hiking, and other boy-stuff, to talking about hair products, ring sizes, and how to shop for gifts for girls. Rebekah says one of her goals is to help prepare Daniel for a wife one day. He's being a good sport thus far, even trying to enter into the beauty product conversation by talking about his all-in-one soap that can be used as shampoo, soap, toothpaste, do.... Rebekah was impressed!

We thank God for Rebekah and Carly!

Kingstone Academy 2008-9

Rebekah, Carly, Abigail, Daniel, Jessalyn and Aaron

Daniel and Abigail with Rebekah are following the Romanian tradition of showering the teacher with flowers on the first day of school.

A Series of Firsts...part I

First HMA

When we moved to Romania 3 1/2 years ago, we knew part of the plan would be to return to the US for a period of time in order to visit supporters, raise more support if necessary, reconnect with family and friends, deal with medical issues, and take care of whatever else that must be handled States-side.  Three years ago, it seemed like a long way off.  And here we are, already home 3 weeks and our first HMA is over.  We did get to see almost all of our supporters. Gratefully, there was no new support to raise. We were able to see and enjoy almost all of our more immediate family members and many of our friends.  And we spent more hours than we would have liked at doctors' offices.   With those expectations in mind, it was a productive 3 months.

And yet, as promised, the Lord did exceedingly, abundantly more than we could have asked or imagined. In between the immensely busy schedule...

• We got to enjoy Katy's first 3 months in college with her, as we helped get her moved in, showed her around campus, attended football games with her, met some of her friends, treated her to a few meals, watched her work at her first paying job (University Sporting Goods), counseled her through bumpy waters of sorority life, had dinner with her RUF minister and his wife, took her shopping, stocked her dorm room full of groceries, talked on the phone daily as she went to and from class.  What a blessing for us to enjoy that time alongside her!  Abigail even got to spend a night in the dorm with her, anticipating her own college days that are just around the corner.
  
  
  Katy and Ed in the Grove at an Ole Miss game
  
  
  
• Over three months, we visited with Michael almost weekly as we traveled to Jackson for appointments.  We caught up on much of his life that we had missed out on for the previous two years.  We walked through Belhaven's campus--Ed and I even taught a class one evening on mission, attended a football game (not quite the same even as at Ole Miss, but we did get to see Michael's friend, Sarah Grafton on the homecoming court), met many of his friends, climbed the rock wall where he works at 1st Baptist Health Center (Abi and Daniel climbed...I watched), had many lunch dates at his favorite jaunts, enjoyed countless face to face conversations about life, work, relationships, and Daniel got to be a college student for a day/night.  We thank the Lord for quality face to face time with him.
  
  
  
  Michael and his friend, Sarah Grafton
  
  
  
  
  
• Abigail and Daniel re-entered American culture by doing a lot of shopping, attending high school football games (American football), watching American football on TV (Sam's big screen made it even more of an event), participating in youth group (including a lock-in), reconnecting with friends, fishing with Ed, playing on a soccer team (Daniel), attending a Viking cooking school (Abi), and being loved on and spoiled by grandparents.


Dan's big catch

Daniel and Abi enjoying an Ole Miss football game. Go Rebs!!



• One of the great unexpected pleasures we enjoyed was our time with Sam, Chris, and Sarah.  Sarah quickly became Abi and Daniel's highlight of each day, and she adores them, as well.  Because Sam now works for M&F in Kosy, they moved to Kosy shortly after we arrived.  
  
  
  Gentleman Daniel is escorting Chris (and soon to be Burton, born Nov 12)
  
  
  

Sweet baby Sarah with Nana's new dog, Charlie

• FOOD!  We ate and ate and ate yummy American food.  Now we're working it off, or at least working it into shape.  It was worth it.
• Morning coffee with Mom and Dad. 
• Nicholas and Melissa's wedding.
  
  
  
• A trip to Destin.

Not in Destin, but it looks like it from here. It was actually at the Reservoir in Jackson. 

Cute kids, all grown up!!

Little Celebrations

We're about to head back to the US for our first HMA (Home Ministry Assignment).  We'll be gone 3 months which on one hand seems like a really long time to be away.  Too long!  And on another hand, it seems way too short.  Too short!  So, we'll trust the Lord with our alloted time, believing He'll provide for all that we'll leave behind for such a long time, and that He'll enable us to get all done that must be done in such a short time.

Before we go, we have to fill out lots of paperwork with MTW, assessing our first term here: things we've learned, what was good/bad/hard, growth areas.... So, I've been thinking about things the Lord has taught me in our 3 years here, and it would take multiple entries to begin to cover it.  Maybe during our time in the US I'll have time to articulate it. Until then, this is what's been on my mind:

One thing we've all learned is to appreciate life's small pleasures.  Lately, I've given thanks for:

• Visine (sour cherries) turning red on the trees in the yard. 
  
• Sunrises and sunsets.  We've seen more of the latter lately as sunrise is around 5am. Though with Michael at Basic Training, both Ed and I have been up in the wee hours praying for him. He'll be done on July 11!!
  
• Fresh fruit and veggies at the market. The smell of fresh produce is one of my favorites!
  
• New finds at the grocery store.  Yesterday, Abi and I were at Metro stocking up after the Vision Trip.  To our great delight we found tortillas!! Until now, I've been making them. We also found CapriSun's. Abi was happy about that.
  
• A quiet morning and a pleasant evening on the new deck.  Ed and Daniel and Darin worked tirelessly for a week to finish a deck that was perfect for the Vision Trip.  We had nearly every meal and 1/2 of the meetings at our home, so it was a HUGE blessing.  It's a perfect spot for enjoying early morning sunshine and for watching the late afternoon light dance on the wheat fields in the distance.
• Fans.  It's hot in Romania now (into the 90s in the heat of the day), and with no AC, it can be pretty toasty warm.  A few properly placed fans make a difference.
• Friendship.  The Lord has blessed us with wonderful friends here and the thought of not seeing them for 3 months really makes me sad. I think that's a good thing.  I think one of the worst parts about being away during the fall is missing the main harvest of fruit and veggies.  In Sept. we have plums and in Oct. come the apples, pears, and grapes.  Our trees and vines are loaded this year.  Hearing us express our disappointment, we've had dear friends who have already said they would help can things for us (jam, compote, and applesauce).  Angela even said she'd make me a batch of zacusca, our favorite fall treat (a puree of roasted eggplant, red peppers and onions).
• Reunions.  Katy will be coming home from camp after 10 days today. She was a leader again.  Daniel will come home Monday.  We've enjoyed Abi, but will be so glad to have all 3 home again. And we can't wait to have time with everyone before K and M head off to school.
• Confidence that the Lord is our great provider, even giving grace to prepare us for what lies ahead.  The idea of coming back to Romania with only 1/2 our kids creates a knot in my stomach and lump in my throat every time I think of it.  I've often quoted Elisabeth Elliot to myself, "God doesn't give imagining grace. He gives sufficient grace at our time of need."  I believe that is true. However, I've been thinking lately as my heart has ached over imagining what it will be like to return in November without Katy or Michael, that while we don't yet have the grace we'll need to experience that loss, maybe God does give preparing grace.  So, while we don't need grace to imagine it (or as Ed says "to borrow trouble"), or live in that experience today,  we do need grace to prepare us.  We trust that just as God has been faithful in preparing us for all we've been through til now, He'll be faithful to prepare us for what lies ahead, and give sufficient grace for it at the proper time.
• Water. Over the last 3 months we've had several incidents of several days with no water. Several unannounced days.  That makes life interesting. This morning was one of those such days.

One of the best parts of this deck project was the time Ed and Daniel had together building it. Daniel learned a lot and worked joyfully helping Ed build, dig, pour concrete.... Abi decorated the walk with seashells from our trip to Palm Coast this spring.  And I can envision flower beds lining the deck and flower boxes hanging over the edge next year.  With the rest of the walls painted yellow to match the house, it will be lovely!

Another small pleasure is our freshly painted bedroom that matches the 

big pleasure we take in the quilt Edda made for us!

Vision trip group with our Romanian friends at a picnic in the mountains. 

Our friend and neighbor Traian brought over rhubarb from his garden a few weeks ago.  We thought Opa would be impressed with the size of those stalks!  I used Oma's recipe and made a really good rhubarb cake.

Our kids with Bekah and Carly, prospective Kingstone Academy teachers for next year. Another thing for which we give thanks!

The Vision trip group (part of them) enjoying the shade of the deck for meetings.

Katy helped dish up ice cream to go on the freshly picked blueberries (in the bowl on the table) that we bought from some gypsies one afternoon.  This was part of one of the many meals served from the barn for the Vision Trip. 

"I do"

I'm reading this book that I've had for a while but have just now made time to read.  All of the weddings we've been to lately have compelled me to find time. It's called When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey, and is one of the best marriage/relationship books I've read in a long time. The book's thesis is taken from Thomas Watson's quote, "Til sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet," and reminds us throughout that, "When sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet." And the gospel is the only thing that enables us to see that sin without becoming despondent or depressed, self-justifying or blaming. It says, "I am that bad, and worse; but that proves just how much I'm loved."  Harvey says, "The very sin that you fear seeing is the very reason why Christ died in your place. The gospel translates our fear into worship." And the gospel translates feeble, average, struggling, status-quo marriages into sweet marriages that lead us to worship Christ who is redeeming them. I'd highly recommend it, even if your marriage is already sweet.  

One of the challenges I find in relating in another language is taking these things that I'm thinking about in English and learning how to communicate them with some measure of acuracy in Romanian. We've got friends who are recently married, and another couple who will marry while we're in the US, which makes me really happy for them, but really sad that we'll miss it. One of the couples, Cami and Razvan, had been dating for about a year and were engaged for about half that time. They were married in a church (Ed did the wedding) with a ceremony that was a little like American weddings. Most Romanians we talk to say that they love American weddings, from what they've seen on TV, and would love to have an American wedding. But most Romanians are Orthodox and every wedding looks alike: Orthodox church, lots of symbolism, not very romantic. Remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding? The wedding scene, and actually even the reception scene, are similar to the traditional Romanian weddings. The other couple, Danezu and Monica, told us 3 days before their wedding that they were getting married. They've been together 14 years (or maybe it's 16--I can't remember), and Danezu's been ready to marry probably since day 1. Moni's been more reluctant, partly because she's a pretty independent woman and partly because her mom's death a few years ago has left her without much desire to think about the future. We've had lots of conversations about marriage with them, and ,praise God, that they finally decided to seal their relationship. Their wedding was at the courthouse in Brasov, and Ed was the witness.

A few interesting things about Romanian weddings: There has to be a courthouse wedding, and then one can choose whether to have a church wedding. Close family and friends are invited to the civil wedding, and then many are invited to the church wedding. The two ceremonies can be on the same day or years apart. There's usually a reception following the church wedding, that lasts hours, even til the wee hours of the morning. At a typical evangelical wedding, there is no dancing, no drinking, but lots of food, enough for several days. At a typical Orthodox wedding, there is traditional Romanian dancing, celebratory drinking, and lot and lots of food. Those who attend the wedding pay. That's right. If you go, there's a set amount that is sometimes announced and otherwise spread by word of mouth, that all must give per head. And then there's the expected gift on top of that amount, which is usually double. Lately the total amount has been up to $100 per person. Pretty expensive for a 5 person family!

We loved being a part of both weddings, and felt really thankful to be included in the inner-circle of friends, trusting God to use our relationships with them to model Christ-centered marriages made up of sinners who know we are and are clinging to Christ for redemption.

At Cami and Razvan's wedding. She looked like a brunette Barbie doll in her 

gold shimmery ball gown.  

Katy and our friend Elena sang beautifully at the wedding. Abi was just there looking cute.

Cami and Razvan's parents are Brethren and Pentacostal, so there was no dancing at the reception. But before it was all over, Abi and some the girls got in a little twirling.

Danezu and Monica

At a civil wedding, each person who comes brings flowers and showers the bride with bouquets of bright, beautiful flowers.  Makes for a colorful picture, doesn't it?