"I do"

I'm reading this book that I've had for a while but have just now made time to read.  All of the weddings we've been to lately have compelled me to find time. It's called When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey, and is one of the best marriage/relationship books I've read in a long time. The book's thesis is taken from Thomas Watson's quote, "Til sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet," and reminds us throughout that, "When sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet." And the gospel is the only thing that enables us to see that sin without becoming despondent or depressed, self-justifying or blaming. It says, "I am that bad, and worse; but that proves just how much I'm loved."  Harvey says, "The very sin that you fear seeing is the very reason why Christ died in your place. The gospel translates our fear into worship." And the gospel translates feeble, average, struggling, status-quo marriages into sweet marriages that lead us to worship Christ who is redeeming them. I'd highly recommend it, even if your marriage is already sweet.  

One of the challenges I find in relating in another language is taking these things that I'm thinking about in English and learning how to communicate them with some measure of acuracy in Romanian. We've got friends who are recently married, and another couple who will marry while we're in the US, which makes me really happy for them, but really sad that we'll miss it. One of the couples, Cami and Razvan, had been dating for about a year and were engaged for about half that time. They were married in a church (Ed did the wedding) with a ceremony that was a little like American weddings. Most Romanians we talk to say that they love American weddings, from what they've seen on TV, and would love to have an American wedding. But most Romanians are Orthodox and every wedding looks alike: Orthodox church, lots of symbolism, not very romantic. Remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding? The wedding scene, and actually even the reception scene, are similar to the traditional Romanian weddings. The other couple, Danezu and Monica, told us 3 days before their wedding that they were getting married. They've been together 14 years (or maybe it's 16--I can't remember), and Danezu's been ready to marry probably since day 1. Moni's been more reluctant, partly because she's a pretty independent woman and partly because her mom's death a few years ago has left her without much desire to think about the future. We've had lots of conversations about marriage with them, and ,praise God, that they finally decided to seal their relationship. Their wedding was at the courthouse in Brasov, and Ed was the witness.

A few interesting things about Romanian weddings: There has to be a courthouse wedding, and then one can choose whether to have a church wedding. Close family and friends are invited to the civil wedding, and then many are invited to the church wedding. The two ceremonies can be on the same day or years apart. There's usually a reception following the church wedding, that lasts hours, even til the wee hours of the morning. At a typical evangelical wedding, there is no dancing, no drinking, but lots of food, enough for several days. At a typical Orthodox wedding, there is traditional Romanian dancing, celebratory drinking, and lot and lots of food. Those who attend the wedding pay. That's right. If you go, there's a set amount that is sometimes announced and otherwise spread by word of mouth, that all must give per head. And then there's the expected gift on top of that amount, which is usually double. Lately the total amount has been up to $100 per person. Pretty expensive for a 5 person family!

We loved being a part of both weddings, and felt really thankful to be included in the inner-circle of friends, trusting God to use our relationships with them to model Christ-centered marriages made up of sinners who know we are and are clinging to Christ for redemption.

At Cami and Razvan's wedding. She looked like a brunette Barbie doll in her 

gold shimmery ball gown.  

Katy and our friend Elena sang beautifully at the wedding. Abi was just there looking cute.

Cami and Razvan's parents are Brethren and Pentacostal, so there was no dancing at the reception. But before it was all over, Abi and some the girls got in a little twirling.

Danezu and Monica

At a civil wedding, each person who comes brings flowers and showers the bride with bouquets of bright, beautiful flowers.  Makes for a colorful picture, doesn't it?